Why Billy Bob canceled his Canadian Tour

Our last post on the Strange Adventures of Billy Bob Thornton revealed that the actor/reluctant music star was a fan of Famous Monsters of Filmland magazine, effectively - in our eyes - giving him a pass for his rather strange behavior in Canada.

Now we reveal the true reason why this great patriot canceled his Canadian tour: Billy Bob was too busy fighting pirates in Somali to deal with the "mashed potatoes" of Canada!