THE FIRST HALF -- After slogging through the whiny, self-absorbed, navel-gazing, pseudo-profound, self-help seminar "Eat Pray Love," I write in praise of "Thelma & Louise."
Those ladies knew how to rock. Want independence? Go get it. Want empowerment? Kill the guy who tried to rape you. Want freedom? Hit the road and don't look back. Ride off a cliff if that's what it takes.
Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts), on the other hand, lies curled on the floor beside the bed of her young lover (James Franco) and whimpers, "I don't know how to be here."
Here's a clue: Just be. There is no "how" in the equation. U B U and let life roll from there. Don't overthink every aspect of your status and state of mind.
Yet that's what Gilbert does -- for 133 mind-numbing minutes -- during her journey of self-discovery following a divorce she sought because -- well, I think it's because the guy (Billy Crudup) dithered in deciding on a career, but it could have been that Gilbert couldn't figure out how to be in the marriage.
Her global awakening begins in Italy, where she eats. Then it moves to a cult-like Hindu sanctuary in India, where she prays. Then it goes to Bali, where, you guessed it, she loves.
But only after a Balinese medicine man tells her it's okay. Then she can hook up with Felipe (Javier Bardem).
Apparently, after a year of global self-analysis, Gilbert still hadn't learned how to make her own call. Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis would have told Bardem to hop in the back and get ready for a wild ride. One Heart.
THE BETTER HALF -- The First Half fidgeted more times than a person trying to meditate for the first time during "Eat Pray Love," and he's normally a good movie watcher even during so-called chick flicks.
With this in mind, gals, I suggest leaving the guys at home, or send them into "The Expendables" while you partake of the film.
Honestly, I don't think Cal knew what he was in for. I sort of did, because I'd seen author Liz Gilbert on Oprah numerous times talking about her 2006 memoir.
The two of them together -- Oprah and Liz -- never got me terribly interested in reading the book because they seemed like an SNL skit with Al Franken looking in the mirror doing his Stuart Smalley "You're good enough" affirmation routine.
So I was pleasantly surprised that I rather enjoyed the film. I just saw it as an interesting travelogue with beautiful scenery rather than a self-help session.
After all, the problems that Liz (Julia Roberts) was dealing with -- trying to get over a divorce she chose, and finding balance -- are not the most earth-shattering issues one could have.
And the so-called life lesson that we women need to love ourselves first and not be so defined by men, is not exactly a new one or Mother Theresa wisdom.
But I liked following Liz on her yearlong journey, where she tried to eat with gusto in Italy, pray in India and find balance and love in Bali.
Julia Roberts, as always, is easy to like. Javier Bardem is sexy-gorgeous. The scenery is breathtaking and the food and drink look delicious.
Do I think "Eat Pray Love" should be placed on the self-help high pedestal where some have placed it? No. But I found it to be an enjoyable and pleasant diversion, which is all part of my balance. Three-and-a-half Hearts.
Until next time, keep walking down the aisle ... Married to the Movies.
Those ladies knew how to rock. Want independence? Go get it. Want empowerment? Kill the guy who tried to rape you. Want freedom? Hit the road and don't look back. Ride off a cliff if that's what it takes.
Elizabeth Gilbert (Julia Roberts), on the other hand, lies curled on the floor beside the bed of her young lover (James Franco) and whimpers, "I don't know how to be here."
Here's a clue: Just be. There is no "how" in the equation. U B U and let life roll from there. Don't overthink every aspect of your status and state of mind.
Yet that's what Gilbert does -- for 133 mind-numbing minutes -- during her journey of self-discovery following a divorce she sought because -- well, I think it's because the guy (Billy Crudup) dithered in deciding on a career, but it could have been that Gilbert couldn't figure out how to be in the marriage.
Her global awakening begins in Italy, where she eats. Then it moves to a cult-like Hindu sanctuary in India, where she prays. Then it goes to Bali, where, you guessed it, she loves.
But only after a Balinese medicine man tells her it's okay. Then she can hook up with Felipe (Javier Bardem).
Apparently, after a year of global self-analysis, Gilbert still hadn't learned how to make her own call. Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis would have told Bardem to hop in the back and get ready for a wild ride. One Heart.
THE BETTER HALF -- The First Half fidgeted more times than a person trying to meditate for the first time during "Eat Pray Love," and he's normally a good movie watcher even during so-called chick flicks.
With this in mind, gals, I suggest leaving the guys at home, or send them into "The Expendables" while you partake of the film.
Honestly, I don't think Cal knew what he was in for. I sort of did, because I'd seen author Liz Gilbert on Oprah numerous times talking about her 2006 memoir.
The two of them together -- Oprah and Liz -- never got me terribly interested in reading the book because they seemed like an SNL skit with Al Franken looking in the mirror doing his Stuart Smalley "You're good enough" affirmation routine.
So I was pleasantly surprised that I rather enjoyed the film. I just saw it as an interesting travelogue with beautiful scenery rather than a self-help session.
After all, the problems that Liz (Julia Roberts) was dealing with -- trying to get over a divorce she chose, and finding balance -- are not the most earth-shattering issues one could have.
And the so-called life lesson that we women need to love ourselves first and not be so defined by men, is not exactly a new one or Mother Theresa wisdom.
But I liked following Liz on her yearlong journey, where she tried to eat with gusto in Italy, pray in India and find balance and love in Bali.
Julia Roberts, as always, is easy to like. Javier Bardem is sexy-gorgeous. The scenery is breathtaking and the food and drink look delicious.
Do I think "Eat Pray Love" should be placed on the self-help high pedestal where some have placed it? No. But I found it to be an enjoyable and pleasant diversion, which is all part of my balance. Three-and-a-half Hearts.
Until next time, keep walking down the aisle ... Married to the Movies.
