I've been watching religiously since season two and now in this ninth season, I believe I'm ready to throw in the towel. Weird thing is, most of the people I know who watch are in the same boat. And that boat has jumped the shark.
What's wrong you ask? Everything. Let's start with the contestants.
While I wasn't a huge fan of Adam Lambert last season, every week brought a "what is he going to do now?" moment. This year, who is the go-to performer week to week? Except for hippie chick Crystal Bowersox, there is no one I can think of.
This year the cast is full of performers you could see at your local bar on any given Saturday night or the local theater production. I'm pretty sure I saw Casey James in Flagler Beach last weekend.
And then you have the judges.
First off, Randy Jackson has become the talking kewpie doll of broadcast television. Pull his string and he blurts out one of three different sayings: "That was hot," "Yo" or "That wasn't for me." And all of these sayings end with the word "dawg."
Ellen DeGeneres has already worn out her welcome. There are only so many times I can hear someone use the word "adorable." Obviously, she was brought on for her cute little jokes because it's clear she knows nothing about music. And then there's Kara DioGuardi, who I actually really liked last season. This season, from her catty moments with Katy Perry to her over-the-top tear fest after a Big Mike performance, she has proven to be a self-centered font of conflicting comments, telling contestants to take chances with songs and then shutting them down when they do so.
With Simon Cowell, the only member of the panel who actually makes accurate observations, leaving after this season, these are the three we will be left with?
I can't think of a better time to abandon ship. C'mon, Seacrest, there's room for one more in this lifeboat.
According to the Los Angeles Times, Conan O'Brien is in talks with Fox to come back to late night television.
Rumor is that key Fox execs, including Rupert Murdoch, are working with Coco and his people to finalize a deal before the network unveils its plans for the new fall lineup on May 17.
The two sides are not exactly close as of yet and the deal could reportedly still fall apart.
Under the terms of the settlement O'Brien received when he left "The Tonight Show," he is unable to launch a new show until September.
This week Animal Planet announced that they are launching a new series set to begin filming this spring starring ... Mike Tyson?
And the show, currently titled "Taking on Tyson" is about ... pigeon racing?
This is why Tivo was invented.
Good news, "True Blood" fans.
HBO hooked us up with a season three premiere date this week. Make sure you jot down June 13 at 9 p.m. in your planners.
And speaking of "True Blood," Carrie Preston who plays Arlene on the show has signed on for a multi-episode arc on CBS' "The Good Wife."
Could this mean the end for Arlene?
I usually don't tackle celebrity gossip but we'll make an exception with week.
According to the BBC, Kate Winslet and her director husband Sam Mendes have split up.
Kate, if you need a shoulder to cry on, call me.
