How many times have you said to yourself, "Boy, I wish I could pick up Dr. Laura Schlessinger and throw her into an open flame"?

Well now you can, with this 11" Dr. Laura action doll! Dressed in a smart yellow pantsuit and equipped with 23 different phrases such as "proud mother of an American soldier," "Now, go do the right thing," "Argue with me, it makes me testy," and more. Not all the phrases are listed, but I assume "Do what I say, not what I did," "If you're gay or a lesbian, it's a biological error," and "What do you mean my TV show was cancelled?" are in there as well.

Display her proudly on your child's nightstand to ward off premarital sex and gay vibes! Send her to that deadbeat brother of yours to express your shame by proxy! Dress her up in tacky lingerie and hook her up with the Bratz boys! Dr. Laura does it all!

I anticipate massive sales of this figure, both from Dr. Laura fans who want to support her and Dr. Laura detractors who will find it far superior to the handmade voodoo dolls they've been using up till now.